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On June 9, 2001, the Ohio Area Pantheists celebrated their first wedding. Billie Reeves was united with Joel Setzekorn in
a ceremony presided over by Steve Cox, who had been sworn in as judge for a day specifically to officiate at the wedding.
Billie and Joel wrote the ceremony, drawing from a number of sources.
The couple felt they already had all the
material things necessary for their life together. Therefore, instead of wedding gifts, they asked their guests to bring
plants for a "Wedding Garden," a living remembrance of the happy day they shared with their friends and family.
Following is the text of their ceremony.
Wedding Ceremony
Music stops
Statement of Intention & Acknowledgement
Steve: Ladies and gentlemen, please be seated for the marriage ceremony.
(Wait a moment for people to be seated and get quiet.)
It is appropriate that you, the family and friends of Joel and Billie, are gathered here to participate in this wedding. The
ideals, the understanding, and the mutual respect which these two bring to their marriage have roots in the love and friendship
with which you have provided them.
Those who enter into this relationship shall cherish for each other a mutual esteem and love, bear each other's infirmities
and weaknesses, comfort each other in sickness, trouble and sorrow, encourage each other in trials of the spirit, and live
together as the heirs of life.
The only continuity possible, in life, as in love, is in growth, in fluidity, in freedom. One must accept the security of
the winged life, of the ebb and flow in intermittency.
A happy wedlock is a long falling in love. The love of which I speak is not static. It is a growing and dynamic relationship.
We dream that tomorrow we will grow and fulfill our possibilities. It is a blessing when someone believes in our dream of
ourselves and wants to live with us and help make dreams and aspirations come true.
Love of this sort can grow. It is not, like youth a moment that comes and is gone, remaining only a memory of something which
cannot be recovered. It can grow because it has something to grow upon and grow with. It does not become contracted and stale,
because it has for its object all the objects with which the two lovers are concerned. Love endures only when the lovers love
many things together and not merely each other.
Billie and Joel, you have come to this celebration with an awareness that your marriage will have its rewards and its joys,
as well as sorrows. However, as you have already established a strong foundation for a family life, you will be able to meet
future challenges with humor, understanding and compassion. May you, by your example, help your children and grandchildren
to grow.
With the support and encouragement each of you can give to the other, you will be able to develop new personal dimensions,
adding new memories and new hopes to those you are bringing into this union.
Reading of poem, I Love You, by Roy Croft
Joel: I love you, not only for what you are but for what I am when I am with you.
Billie: I love you not only for what
you have made of yourself but for what you are making of me.
Joel: I love you for the part of me that you bring out;
Billie:
I love you for putting your hand into my heaped-up heart
And passing over all the foolish, weak things that you can't
help dimly seeing there,
Joel: And for drawing out into the light all the beautiful belongings that no one else had looked
quite far enough to find.
Billie: I love you because you are helping me to make of the lumber of my life not a tavern
but a temple
Joel: Out of works of my every day not a reproach but a song
Billie: I love you because you have done
more than any creed could have done to make me good,
Joel: And more than any fate could have done to make me happy,
Billie:
You have done it without a touch, without a word, without a sign.
Joel: You have done it by being yourself.
Billie:
Perhaps that is what being a friend means, after all.
Vows
Steve: "Joel, repeat after me.."
I, Joel, take you, Billie, to be my wife
To love you and to cherish you
To help you and to honor you
To give you
understanding and comfort
In whatever the future may bring
In confidence that together
We are responsible for
our destiny.
Steve: "Billie, repeat after me.."
I, Billie, take you, Joel, to be my husband
To love you and to cherish you
To help you and to honor you
To give
you understanding and comfort
In whatever the future may bring
In confidence that together
We are responsible
for our destiny.
Ring Exchange
Steve: "May these rings which you give and receive this day be a symbol of true faith in each other, and always remind
each of you of the love you share on this day."
Joel takes ring from Jade, puts ring on Billie's finger and says:
"I give you this ring to wear as a symbol of our love for each other."
Billie takes ring from Julia, puts ring on Joel's finger and says:
"I give you this ring to wear as a symbol of our love for each other."
Wine Cup Ceremony
Steve: The years of life are as a cup of wine poured out for you to drink. The cup of life contains within it the sweet wine
of happiness, joy, hope and delight. The same cup, at times, holds the bitter wine of disappointment, sorrow, grief, and despair.
Those who drink deeply of life invite the full range of experiences into their being. (Pours wine into wineglass and holds
it up.) This cup is symbolic of the pledges you have made to one another to share together the fullness of life. As you drink
from this cup, you acknowledge to one another that your lives, until this moment separate, have become one vessel into which
all your sorrows and joys, all your hopes and fears, all your dreams and dreads, will be poured, and from which you will find
mutual sustenance. (Hands glass to Joel, who drinks, then hands it to Billie. Billie drinks, hands it back to Steve.)
Pronouncement
Steve: As Joel and Billie have grown in knowledge and love of one another, and because they have agreed in their desire to
go forward in life together, seeking an even richer, deepening relationship, and because they have pledged to meet sorrow
and joy as one family, we rejoice to recognize them as husband and wife.
And now, may the confidence, trust, and affection you have for each other on this day sustain you as you go forth upon your
journey of life together with its joy, its laughter, its sorrow and its pain. May you find together the loftiest that is in
the universe. May you always be able to talk things over, to confide in each other, to laugh with each other, to enjoy life
together, and to share moments of quiet and peace, when the day is done.
Wedding Song
Naima sings "Never Tear Us Apart" by INXS
Don't ask me what you know is true.
Don't have to tell you -- I love your precious heart.
I was standing --
you were there -- two worlds collided --
and they could never tear us apart.
We could live for a thousand years
but if I hurt you
I'd make wine from your tears.
I told you that we could fly 'cause we all have wings.
But
some of us don't know why.
I was standing -- you were there -- two worlds collided --
and they could never tear
us apart.
You, you were standing. I was there. Two worlds collided
and they could never tear us apart.
I, I was standing -- you were there -- two worlds collided --
and they could never tear us apart.
Jade and Julia toss flower petals while Joel and Billie kiss.
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